(written August 2026)

Have you ever been so worried about something that you can barely even allow it to be seen in the periphery of your mind’s eye? A worry that you are too scared to voice, lest it take your breath away? A worry that won’t leave you alone and that makes you feel more isolated and alone the longer you hold it?

I had that experience recently. And it made me wonder where that kind of full-body, engulfing worry comes from.

After several days of stewing on the question, I think it stems from fear. And fear is a kind of grief. Fear comes from grieving the unknown before it has a chance to be known.

When I am gripped by fear-filled worry, I know I need to be brave and risk working through the uncomfortability of being misunderstood in order to speak my worry and be released from it. I know in spite of the fear that expressing the worry might make me seem crazy, or worse, make the worry a full-blown reality, I need to find a way to be vulnerable and express myself before the worry saps the joy from my life.

Perhaps you’ve been there too?

So how can we release the grip worry has on us?

Our inner HERO, our hope, efficacy, resiliency, and optimism can help us get through the grief and fear of this kind of worry. Our HERO can help us find the strength to be vulnerable and risk putting the worry into words.

Hope comes from seeing a way and having the will to follow. Efficacy is a belief in self. Resiliency is the ability to bounce back. Optimism comes from acknowledging the negative and focusing on the positive.

Here’s what I did recently, at 2:40 a.m., as I was engulfed in a full panic attack worry.

I started by telling myself that I have survived everything life has thrown at me up until this point, and I will survive this too. By saying those words, even without fully believing them, I started to engage my efficacy.

Then I joined the forces of my hope and optimism to help me put words to the worry and to look at it straight on. Optimism helped me acknowledge all the scariness and awfulness of the worry, but in doing so, I saw it for what it was – a reality that was imagined but had not yet occurred. That realization was a glimmer of positive.

As I focused on the positive glimmer, I realized that just by turning my focus from the worry to the positive glimmer, I was beginning to have hope. Hope affirmed what Optimism was telling me . . . This is not yet reality. Then with Hope firmly in hand, I began to look for alternative realities, other ways my worry story might play out.

While my Hope was working on alternative “ways”, my Resiliency kicked in and reminded me that I’ve been through this sort of joy-sapping, anxiety-creating worry before, and I will get through this one.

My Hope then revealed several alternative ways my worry story might play out. There were new choices, options, and alternative realities, not just the singular worry that had had me in its grip. One was actually worse than my original worry, but most were significantly less scary.

The work of my whole HERO team reminded me that the best way to test whether worry is justified or whether
alternative suggestions could become reality, was to talk with a trusted loved one or friend.

So I did. And in the middle of the night, when everyone else was asleep, Dad and I had a conversation that helped me fall asleep. In the morning after Mom got up, I talked with her.

By the time I left for work, I had my joy back and was ready to face whatever reality might come to fruition.

Worry can stop us in our tracks; it can wake us up in the middle of the night; it can taunt us with possible life scenarios that “will” exist even when they aren’t yet realities. When that happens, call on your superpower HERO. Let Hope, Efficacy, Resiliency, and Optimism fight worry with all the tools in your toolbox.

As you do, please remember the truth gifted from Christopher Robin to Pooh: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Sending hugs for the journey,
Christy